1,357 Days of Waiting

Our adoption journey continues on. Some things have changed. Some things have remained the same.

2014

On February 24, 2015 after months of paperwork and interviews and home studies we were officially put on a waiting list to be matched with a child from the Eastern Caribbean.

1,357 days went by.

2018

On November 12, 2018 we were officially notified of not one but TWO Grenadian children who need a forever family. One three-year-old girl. One one-year-old boy. Lord willing, they will be ours.

A very important court hearing was scheduled for these children this past Monday. This hearing must take place before we can take the next steps to bringing them home. Unfortunately, the hearing did not take place and it will have the be rescheduled. Although these kids do not yet have a new date assigned, we have heard that hearings are being rescheduled for February and March.

This was heartbreaking news for us. The waiting continues. We trust fully in God’s timing and in the outcome of this adoption. We do not know the plans he has for us, but we walk comfortably knowing that he has the whole world in his hands. We take the next steps happy that he is always with us in this difficult time. He loves us and he loves these children and he will hold us all close as we wait to be united.

Meanwhile, we are wrapping up the process of updating our home study for the second time and have a mountain of paperwork to complete for our dossier and immigration paperwork.

A sweet friend gave us this plant to celebrate another step in this journey. It’s a nice reminder that we aren’t alone in this. So thankful.

We are thankful that you are on this journey with us. It’s a long, often discouraging, unknown road. It’s filled with highs and lows and level, uneventful moments. We’re thankful to not have to travel it alone. Please keep praying, dear friends. Pray for all of our children and for us.

*Leaping* for Joy

Tonight I am blown away and humbled.

We are going into our March adoption fundraiser with 30–YES THIRTY!–registered participants. Thirty precious people, reading their hearts out, to help us on this adoption journey. Each of those 30 people will have numerous sponsors behind them to encourage their reading and to support our adoption. This is crazy exciting and super encouraging!

God is so good.

When we worry about the details, when we’re scared about the future, when we’re unsure how He’s going to provide, but are willing to submit anyway, He shows up and gives far more abundantly than all we can ask or think. He surrounds us with encouragement and blesses our desire to obey. He uses dear friends to hold us up and carry us. He gently comforts and reassures us. He follows through on his promises. He provides.

This evening, He laid these words of Ephesians 3:20 on my heart and as I opened up my Bible to read it, my eyes fell to verses 14 and 15 first: “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.” He is sovereign over all and he knows and names every family and each member of them. He knows precisely who makes up the Hodgson family on earth and in heaven.  The children we have not yet had the privilege to meet have been named by God as “Hodgsons” before the creation of this world! He’s got this! Chapter 3 goes on to talk about the “love of Christ that surpasses knowledge”. He loves us so much! God’s word was such a gift to me this evening and I hope that somehow, if you’re reading this, it encourages you as well.

Tonight I have tears of joy and thankfulness and my heart is overflowing. To God be the glory!

On Family Pictures & Waves of Grief

Hodgson Family ~ Fall 2015

Family pictures are a tricky thing for me. I treasure photos greatly. I enjoy the art of taking pictures, looking and re-looking at pictures and capturing precious moments. However, whenever it comes to family photos, though there is a smile on my face, my heart is divided. I can’t help but think of our precious sons who should be beside us in our family pictures. It almost seems wrong to capture a “family” photo without them! However, this is our family, at present, and I desperately want it captured nonetheless. I even go so far as to think, “What if this is our last family photo together?!?!” Because sometimes it is, and we just never know. On the flip side, I thank God for the family I have here and that gives me reason to smile and capture this moment. I suspect I will always feel the void, the struggle and the pangs of sadness.

Christmas 2011 ~ Our Last “Family” Picture with Andrew

I didn’t anticipate grief flooding in this Christmas season. The waves definitely come fewer and farther between, and this one came unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere. Dear friends were sharing their burdens of loss and pain during Sunday School one morning. Their hearts echoed what was all too familiar to me. I bit my lip and wrestled through class, thinking I could hold it together because I’m typically not much of a crier. I ducked my head and made a beeline for my spot on the pew for service,  I just couldn’t shake this deep sorrow that filled my heart. Images of the day we lost Andrew flashed through my mind. The throbbing ache in my arms, desperate to hold my children close, was there. I wondered and worried about how my surviving children would deal with the deaths of their brothers into their adult years. The memories, thoughts and tears wouldn’t stop. This Christmas a dear friend gifted our kids with Christmas outfits, and I kept thinking, Andrew and Isaiah should have matching outfits too! It just didn’t seem fair. I simply could not hold back the tears that came in torrents down my face. I had to walk out of that service and go home. I felt unable to stand up under the weight of the grief. It felt so bizarre to be feeling these gut wrenching emotions, seemingly out of the blue. I suspect these moments will always come. It’s all part of the journey. I’m still not used to it and am surprised by grief.

December 2015

Four Beautiful Children in Christmas Outfits

Christmas 2015

Here’s to 2016! Happy New Year!

In 2015, family pictures, Christmastime and ringing in the New Year held another new set of emotions for me. Throughout the festivities, I kept wondering if, perhaps, this was our last Christmas as a family as we now know it. Would we be sharing our celebrations with a new son or daughter next Christmas season? If God would allow us to add to our family in 2016, we would be so grateful. I treasured this season with my family a little bit differently, not knowing what 2016 would hold.

By the grace of God, and with hope, I do know Who holds 2016. I’m thankful for His faithfulness. I’m trusting in His provision and timing, glad that He can see the big picture that I can’t. He gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

2015-2016 Homeschool Year

It’s that time of year again!! I can’t believe another school year is upon us! Where did our summer go?!?! We are entering our sixth year of homeschooling! This year I’m excited because our homeschool space got a bit of an overhaul since we had water in our basement and had to replace the flooring. It’s fresh and organized and I’m going to enjoy it for the wee bit of time that it stays that way. 🙂

Here are a couple pictures of our first day of school:

The Whole Crew (plus one) ~ 2015-2016 School Year

Lillyanna Faith ~ almost 2 1/2 years old

Allie Gabriella ~ 5 years old

Ethan Alexander ~ 7 years old

Colton Benjamin ~ 9 years old

Because it’s always fun to look at old pictures, here are a few pictures of years gone by just to compare:

2014-2015 School Year

2013-2014 School Year

2012-2013 School Year

Aren’t they so cute?!?! Time just flies by…

So, here’s what we plan to be doing this year:

2015/2016 Homeschool Curriculum Plan

Allie – Kindergarten

Five In A Row – Volumes 2 & 3

Art: Draw and Learn People (Second Half)

Bible: Answers Book for Kids/Memorize James 2/Memorize the Names of the Books of the Bible

Handwriting: HWOT Letters and Numbers for Me (Repeat from Last Year)

Math: Saxon K (Second Half)

Reading: All About Reading Level 1 & Level 2

Other:  Calendar, Story of Me, Address/Phone Number/Pledge of Allegiance, Me on the Map, Show & Tell, Swimming Lessons, Children’s Choir, Homeschool Family Fellowship

Ethan – 2nd Grade

Five In A Row – Volumes 2 & 3

Bible: Answers Book for Kids/Memorize James 2/Memorize the Names of the Books of the Bible

Geography: Stack the States/Stack the Countries

Grammar: First Language Lessons Level 2 (Repeat from Last Year)

History: Story of the World Volume 2 (Text Only)

Math: Saxon 3

Reading: Reading List

Spelling: All About Spelling Level 3

Writing: Writing With Ease Level 1

Other: Story of Me/Before I Was Born, Pledge of Allegiance, Me on the Map, Show & Tell, Swimming Lessons, Soccer, Children’s Choir, Homeschool Family Fellowship

Cody – 4th Grade

Five In A Row – Volumes 2 & 3

Bible: Answers Book for Kids/Memorize James 2/Review the Names of the Books of the Bible

Geography: Stack the States/Stack the Countries

Grammar: First Language Lessons Level 4

History: Veritas Press Self-Paced Middle Ages 

Math: Saxon 65

Reading: Reading List

Spelling: All About Spelling Level 4

Writing: Writing With Ease Level 3

Other: Story of Me/Before I Was Born, Typing Instructor, Duolingo Spanish, Editor In Chief Beginning 2, Pledge of Allegiance, Camp Roger, Me on the Map, Critter Barn Volunteering, Show & Tell, Children’s Choir, Swimming Lessons, Soccer, Homeschool Family Fellowship

Here’s to a new year of crazy homeschooling! What are you planning for this year?

Reflections on Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day.

Since I’m a thinker, I did a lot of thinking while my children and husband did their best to spoil me. In no particular order…this is a glimpse of what I thought and felt today.

I thought about Mother’s Day three years ago when grief threatened to crush me. That made my heart ache even more for others out there who are feeling crushed by the weight of today.

I dreamed forward to a day when a beautiful, brown-skinned sweetheart would call me mommy.

I remembered my precious boys who I carried in my womb and cradled in my arms but never had the chance to hear them call me mommy.

I thought about my own mother and how she has impacted me and taught me so much about life, love, dedication, hard work and commitment.

I thought about my husband’s mother. She must have done something right because he is a treasure and I am forever thankful to her for how she mothered him.

I wondered what kind of a legacy I am building for my own children and what they will remember about me when they have children of their own someday.

Mostly, I admired the sweet, amazing people who call me mom Every. Single. Day. I am so thankful for them and for how they fill my life with such joy and goodness. I love how they make me realize my need for a Savior and how lost I would be with Him. They see me at my very worst and love me anyway. They were eager to serve me today and show me special love and adoration. These kids are amazing, wonderful little people who I pray will love Jesus when they are big people. May God grant me the grace to do right by them and lead them to Him by my example.

I am so thankful for this gift of motherhood. The good. The bad. The ugly. And the beautiful. God is so good!

We’re praising God!! It’s official!!

Hubby and I, taking a moment to celebrate, just as he was leaving for the Post Office to mail our dossier.

Woohoo! We are so excited to have reached a milestone in this long adoption process! We submitted our dossier on Thursday and received an email last night confirming that we are officially on the waiting list!! Eek!!

After months and months of documentation, interviews, doctor’s appointments, documentation, fingerprints, fundraising, documentation, notaries, criminal records, home study appointments and more documentation, it feels wonderful to have finally submitted everything required to be on the waiting list. There is one waiting list across all four countries of Dominica (where our nephew Kerie is from), St. Lucia, St. Vincent and the Grenadines and Grenada. We are currently in the 18th position on the list but several factors affect what that means. Even though we have a certain position on the list, each case is very carefully reviewed so that the best possible match can be made for each family on the list. They will do their best to keep birth order for our family, so the child will be younger than Lillyanna when he or she is placed in our home. Our agency is anticipating that we will wait 12-18 months before a match is made. Then, it will probably be an additional 4-6 months before we can bring the child home. Our social worker told us to try to go about our lives as usual, reminding us that a watched pot never boils. That is easier said than done!

So, now, we wait. We will be busy praying, raising money for expenses, preparing for international travel and remodeling a bedroom as we prepare for whatever the Lord has in store for our family. Our home study approves us to adopt two children, and we have said we would prayerfully consider a set of twins or a young sibling set, but we anticipate we will only be adopting one child at this time. Only the Lord knows!

We ask that you continue to keep our family in your prayers as the details come together. We are still asking for wisdom about the things I mentioned here. And, as I said before, we have a long road ahead of us, guaranteed to be laden with obstacles. We will not fear, because we know Who goes before us. He is our Peace. So exciting to be walking this road! Thanks for walking it with us.

Week In Review ~ February 8

So, yes, I realize it’s actually February 18th, not February 8th, but alas, it is only February and I’m behind on my goal for 2015. So, humor me as I backtrack to a review of a couple weeks ago…

On February 2nd, I began a part-time job, of sorts, to earn money toward our adoption. I’m super excited about this and thankful for a way to earn some extra money!

We played store for math this week. Shhh…don’t tell her it was for math. 🙂

We got 12 inches of snow overnight!

She just couldn’t make it through bedtime stories…

For date day, Ethan helped me make popcorn…

…then we played a game of his choice, Scrambled States of America. He’s better at Geography than I am.

Just reading to Pippy.

This little lady was SO sick all day Wednesday, then woke up Thursday completely fine. It was heartbreaking but I enjoyed the snuggles while they lasted!

This kid. He has so much energy. Sometimes getting schoolwork done looks like this.

Buddies. Sometimes it’s fun to break out a toy you haven’t used in awhile.

Breakfast for dinner. You may think this plate belonged to one of our children. Nope. It’s daddy’s.

He begged me to let him take her out in the snow to play. These two adore each other. I’m so thankful.

On Friday night, my parents had us over for dinner. My mom made my favorite dessert…Chocolate Eclair! Yum!

Sleepover at Grandpa’s!

We rode snowmobiles for a few hours on Saturday with Grandpa and the cousins. So much fun!! Lillyanna spent the day with Grandpa and Neena so we could take the older ones. Allie was super scared to go at first, but once she got on, she loved it!

It was fun to check out the ice sculptures by the lake!

Pedal tractor races happened in Grandpa’s loft with the cousins Saturday night including helmets, gloves and the man waving the checkered flag. There was even a cooler with refreshments for the audience! Bottled water and apples…all FREE! I love seeing their imaginations!

Cards with the family! Euchre tournament. Bring it on!

You’re looking at the reigning Euchre Champs!

Sunday snow fort building with daddy. They made a cave that all three of them could fit it! I was impressed.

Meanwhile, inside, a game of Memory with Grandpa. Allie is a super poor sport. We’re working on it.

Week In Review ~ February 1

The weather was really mild at the beginning of the week so Ben and the boys worked on their backyard  fort. A friend of ours generously gave the boys several boards to use and they were thrilled!

Lately this girl has been LOVING listening to her Beginner’s Bible on CD. Since she can’t read very well yet, she spends a lot of time just sitting on her bed, looking at the pictures and listening.

My sweet husband has worked very diligently on adoption paperwork this week. Things are progressing faster than we thought and we should be able to submit our dossier VERY soon! Praise God!

Cody wanted to make pumpkin bread this week. He did and it was delicious!

For date day, these two went ice skating. I’m not sure who loved it more. 🙂

I think her love language is “Reading Aloud” and I think Cody is her favorite. 🙂

Hehe! Farm animal sounds. 🙂

It takes a lot to get this guy down. He’s fighting a bad cold.

Daddy and the girls stayed home from church Wednesday night. The boys were excited to visit the James General Store where Mr. Stache gave them mustaches!

Ugh. This was taken early Thursday morning after I found her in her bed with her diaper off. I’ll spare you the details. She sure does make it pretty difficult to stay mad at her though. 🙂

Since we were all tired from rough nights of sleep and fighting colds, we took Thursday off school and spent time with stickers, baby dolls and our new game, Bohnanza. We’ve borrowed it, and it’s a family favorite, so we were excited to get our own!

Her other favorite thing to play with besides books. 🙂 She LOVES her babies!

They discovered the concordance!

Science was taught by my lovely sister this week. Our experiment had us measuring lung capacity.

The experiment turned out to be a disaster and quite soggy. 😦 We had some good laughs though!

On Saturday, our kids spent the day with my sister’s family so we could take an all-day membership class at our church. We LOVED the class and are so thankful for our church! We got to go grocery shopping and have dinner together before picking the kids up for bed. It was a wonderful date day!

On Sunday we woke up to quite a bit of snow and it kept coming!

The weather didn’t stop us from going to a super bowl party!

This is what the Super Bowl is all about, right?!?!

It’s such a joy to have my oldest sister living close by these days. We enjoyed chatting (even though with 8 kids there are LOTS of interruptions), playing Bananagrams and she spoiled me with this delicious latte. So thankful for her!

Week In Review ~ January 25

On Monday, my sister and I drove up to spend the day with some of my family. My grandma hasn’t been doing very good and we wanted to spend some time visiting with her. It was a joy to visit with her and grandpa!

This girl is a little bookworm just like her siblings! I adore that she is regularly found engrossed in a pile of books!

We have been struggling with her taking her clothes off, including her diaper! This happens all around the house but especially in her bed. The results are usually far less than awesome. After much trial and error, this is the best solution we’ve come up with: jammies backward with a shirt over top. She hasn’t figured out how to take a shirt off over her head. Yet. This pictures proves, she’s still trying to outsmart us, but so far this has kept her from taking her clothes and diaper off completely!

We worked on colors this week!

This guy is a reading machine! This week he finished his book list for first grade and is begging for another list.

Tuesday’s date day was for me and Allie. She requested that we play nail salon and we did her toenails, complete with a Strawberry Shortcake lotion foot massage. 🙂

Neena came to visit on Wednesday. She brought lunch and a Neena Box! We’re spoiled!

Allie and I rowed Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey this week. From this sweet book: “Mr. and Mrs. Mallard were bursting with pride. It was a great responsibility taking care of so many ducklings, and it kept them very busy.” I love Robert McCloskey and this is one of my favorites.

We spent Wednesday afternoon exploring the trails at a local nature center. It was a beautiful day and fun to be outside as a family!

Four of my favorite people.

Lillyanna ate snow for the first time thanks to daddy teaching her. 🙂

The whole family ventured to the police station on Friday afternoon so Ben and I could get some fingerprinting done for our dossier. Yay! One step closer!

I got to spend Friday evening with this precious guy and his older siblings. It was fun to spend time with them without my kids there hogging them! 😉

Saturday morning we did some cleaning as a family. It was nice to have happy, enthusiastic helpers! The kids love using this child-size Norwex dusting mitt and I love that they don’t have to spray anything! 🙂

Daddy took the older kids outside to help them build a snow fort. They worked hard and had so much fun!

Here, he’s planning to throw those snow balls at me!

Handsome hubby, great daddy.

My goofy girl eating “snow dogs”.

Layer 1 of the snow “bricks”, complete.

While the big kids played outside, little miss and I played inside. Love this picture of her and her baby!

Sunday we spent the day with my family. It was a wonderful celebration of my grandma’s 83rd birthday and a bit of a family reunion. This is a picture of my grandma (my dad’s mom) with all of her great-grandchildren. Precious moments!

Week In Review ~ January 18

Our dear friends had dinner with us Monday night after we hadn’t seen them for a long time! It was so good to see them and their sweet baby! “Awww! Mom! She’s holding my finger!”

The three oldest had dentist appointments Tuesday morning. We LOVE our dentist! They do such a great job with the kids and the kids seriously love going.

Cody grew a mustache! He kept telling me, “Mom! I’m too old for school!”

Aunt Sherri and Allie after Allie’s belated birthday shopping trip. Her favorite finds: dress up clothes, a microphone that plays Frozen songs she can sing along with and salon tools. This is one happy girl with one of our favorite ladies.

This week for Five in a Row we read Katy and the Big Snow. I love this time with my girl!

A dress-up dress and beauty tools. Although these are Allie’s new toys, Lillyanna has pretty much taken over.

Cody wanted to learn how to make coffee this week. He made coffee for me one morning and for Ben one morning. I could get used to this!

The girls are getting a lesson in playing checkers. This is one of Ethan’s favorites right now. Although, he’s pretty happy playing any game and he’s always looking for someone to play one with him.

This was our science experiment crew on Friday afternoon. We’re loving going through Apologia’s Young Explorer Series on Human Anatomy and Physiology. This week’s experiment had us testing for Vitamin C in fruits and vegetables.

Buddies! Our Community Group met at our house Friday night. We love these people God has placed us with and enjoyed a great discussion on the importance of a community of faith surrounding us as we venture on this journey of faith. We need each other for accountability and encouragement and so much more. What a blessing to be a part of the body of Christ!

My brother’s daughter got to spend the day with us on Saturday! What a little sweetie. She’s super laid back, serious and mature and I loved that she took her nap on my lap. When I took this picture, she kept telling Lillyanna not to put things in her mouth. Ha! I don’t think Lilly took her very seriously!

Owning a home is the American Dream…until a water leak happens. Ben cut into the ceiling on Saturday afternoon to access some pipes. Let’s just say, the project is still in progress but at least we can use our water now! So thankful for a handy hubby!

Ben was able to go to Arenacross dirt bike racing on Saturday night. He loves this kind of thing! Good times with a good friend.

With Ben gone on Saturday night, I was happy to have quiet, alone time at the end of the day for a mini pedicure and an episode of Call the Midwife.